Never Dying in Nicaragua

“No lloren por mi… no, no, no. Cuando ustedes escuchen que morí, no les crean. Yo voy a estar más vivo que nunca gozándome con nuestro amado Señor Jesucristo” “Don’t cry for me… no, no, no. When you hear that I have died, don’t believe it. I will be more alive than ever, rejoicing with…

My Beautiful Broken Brain

In the back matter of my brain trees grow with roots like hands holding the wrinkly valleys I create.   A surge comes, electrifying branches, but serotonin seeds don’t spread. The tree takes them back as if new growth will choke.   I long to be the tree planted by still waters, with leaves that…

Sunshine and December Blues

And now it is December. When I was young and bright-eyed, someone told me the time would speed up as I got older. They were right.   Last year, December was a turning point. Everything held together until the 1st of the last month and then it unraveled, again. When the sun hides away for…

Fresh to the World

“Surely, I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me.” Psalm 131:2   It’s hard to believe that one day two decades ago I was fresh to the world. In 1996 I breathed my first breath and before my head…

Pinching Pennies and Forgoing Finland

It’s been so long since I’ve posted. I didn’t want to be the infrequent blogger, but here I am The thing is, I have been wanting to post but when I begin to write, it feels like I am forcing it. Now I have something more genuine to say, something that has been ruminating in…

Mistaken Again

After 19 days of not posting, I’m still not sure what to write. Let’s start with all the mistakes.   I don’t think I have ever gone through a day without making a mistake. Sometimes I forget to go to important meetings and other times I just don’t understand whatever we do in economics. These…

Romance and Reality

I am a hopeless romantic…sometimes. When I was younger I longed for the day prince charming would come on a horse, scoop me into his arms, and ride away with me into the sunset. I loved fairy tales. All of it was magic and the worst that could happen involved dragons and bad guys but…

Paint Chips and Explosions

On Wednesday June 28th, 2017 at 4:53 pm there was an explosion. I was in a garden sitting on a tilted bench trying to quiet my scattered brain. Ten minutes in, I got a notification from the police about an explosion on my universities campus. Only a few seconds later I received another message from…

Intimacy is Better than Novelty

“When you start to think about songs in the world, you realize that about 99% of them are about the novelty of love. I like novelty just as much as everyone else does. It’s fun to be in the mountains and go to Brazil and see the big Jesus statue…but there is something that some…

Why Write?

Flannery O’Connor writes it well: “I write because I don’t know what I think until read what I write”   The writing process is different for many people. What remains across the board in the literary world is this: writing is hard. Sure, you can write a quick story or come up with a quick…

Kindness in Unlikely Places

In a world with a face full frustrations, we all need some daily reminders to be kind. Just last week I was in a slightly smelly bathroom washing my hands. I turned to get some paper towels and saw kindness in the window. The longstanding Wilson hall bathroom in slow Murray Kentucky was the last…

The Escape From Fleshly Motions

Emotions can toss and topple about like a buoy on the ocean’s surface; especially when the waves clap their hands at the sky pouring water down. Just like the atmosphere, emotions change in an instant. Anger creeps up like claws on your back. Sometimes my feet tap as the intense energy runs through my flesh….