On Wednesday June 28th, 2017 at 4:53 pm there was an explosion.
I was in a garden sitting on a tilted bench trying to quiet my scattered brain. Ten minutes in, I got a notification from the police about an explosion on my universities campus. Only a few seconds later I received another message from my friend telling me she watched the explosion happen from our meeting house across the field. The building that would become my home for my last year in Murray blew up.
At first it didn’t seem to trouble me but as I tried to worship God in a service I began thinking of my room mates and how I didn’t have a place to stay in August. Where would my bottles go? All summer I have been collecting bottles for my window sill. The kind of bottles that catch light and project colors on the walls.
I began to doubt God would take care of me the way he feeds the birds and clothes the flowers.
Just a few days earlier I was in the store picking out paint chips. Creating a color scheme stirs up creativity. Plus, the names always make me smile:
Sea Glass Green
Lion’s Dance Gold
Paint chips hold a promise for a colorful future.
They are for planning in the present and presenting in the future. We look to the past for the inspiration for our life’s color scheme. Color is tied up in time.
In the present, I am ok. I have a roof and food and plenty of fun socks. I am in good company. I am surrounded by love. But, the uncertainty of the future is begging for my time and worry. Where will I be in five years? Who will be with me? Will my house blow up too?
Recently someone told me worry is temporary atheism.
Honestly, I doubt sometimes. The key is to always turn back, to trust God will provide the paint you need for your future.
C.S. Lewis wrote “the present is the point at which time touches eternity.” These words have tossed around in my mind for a while. It sounds so beautiful, but it could mean so much. Right now, it reminds me how we are in eternity right now.
Due to the explosion, the foundation of the building will have to be rebuilt. The whole building is weak because of the explosion. The missing chunk cannot be fixed without tearing the whole thing down. That happens sometimes.
At some point in the rebuilding process there will be paint chips. Then there will be painting done and a new building will be birthed.
Thank God for paint chips and second chances.