Counting Ceiling Lights


I hated kids church so much growing up. Partly it was my temperament. Ever since I can remember I have been sensitive to crowds and noise. Another part is my old soul. I felt like I could relate with the grown-ups more than the kids.

Sometimes I had to go and sometimes I didn’t. On the days that I didn’t I would go to the “big church” with my mom. During worship I felt the vibrations ripple through my small body. As the pastor spoke I laid on the floor between the chairs and counted the lights on the ceiling.

Always, I felt an overwhelming sense of safety. Really an indescribable safety. My sensitivity picked up on the spirit in the sanctuary.

It was a big sanctuary. Growing up I was use to the big kind with long stages and microphones. Then I went to other places and experienced the smallness of some sanctuaries. In houses and stadiums, I had church.

No matter the place, God’s presence is there. At the table, in the woods, and in cars He is there to make a place sacred and safe.

He was certainly in kids church too, but that is not what I needed. What I needed was the overwhelming since of security the big sanctuary offered.

Sometimes the last place we meet God is in a sanctuary. He is not captive to the church, He is everywhere. The church is not a place, it is a people. Maybe you need to be in a library or dare I say a pub to meet Jesus and that is ok. A church building is not the key to Christ, the body broken and blood poured out is the key to Christ.

Don’t go to church. If you need to step away that is ok because it is better to go to a place of worship freely than forced. God will meet you where ever you are and when you are ready the church goers will be there to welcome you in.

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